johnnay123

Today is my 21st birthday. Which was absolutely amazing and definately a rite of passage. Drinking becomes legal and the whole buzz of illegal drinking becomes just a memory, one I will never relive again. Which is fine...haha. I had a great time at Wayside in Kalamazoo. Lisa, Cowie, Brian, Angela, Molly, Akash, Ed, Leonta, and Ryan joined me. I had a couple beers and a shot before I went and ended up having two rounds of 3-4 shots each within the 2 hours I was there, which was clearly enough after the puking I had to put up with after. HaHa.

Sooo...some things that have been on my mind lately...hmmm
I dont understand some people being so inconsistant with their feelings. Tell me one thing one day and another the next, and then feel all bad and apologetic because they know they hurt my feelings. Mood Kill! Like really? I dont have the time to deal with other peoples stress, I am in a stage of building myself and have a lot of self focus because thats what I need, so like if you dont want to be a friend then dont be a friend. Its so frusterating when people are trying hard because they know they hurt you...Apologize!

Theres always so much on my mind so I think its a great thing that Im writing in this journal getting it all out. I feel like when in conversation with people something else will come up in my head and I wont even hear what they say. There are so many deadlines, so many projects, so many programs that I have this semester and its ridiculously hard to focus. And now my birthday week, it makes it like 10 times worse!

My room is a mess, therefore im a mess. Ive found out my room really relates to my mood.

Okay, and people people people... I love the way people act. Everyones mood is so readable. Im SORRY if i blocked you on facbeook because I dont like you. You dont have to try to get back at me like a little girl...grow up! And for petes sake stop drinking alcohol everyday of your life, your just adding to the cause of WHY I DONT LIKE YOU lmao!!!! im sooo serious too. Everyone in the world isnt meant to like eachother, if we didnt have differences and problems, the world would be boring. So thanks for being different but no thanks, you are a strain on my life and I rather not hear about the stupid shit you do.

I dont like having friendship issues, because my friends are my support and my love, so if you can't provide that I will drop you faster than I drop my pants to take a shit.

And now I have to do some studying on environmental econ, I need to figure out a good study method. Really...Im tired though and hungover sitting here on my bed.

Love n Peace Bitches

Funniest shit ever. I actually guessed my password today and logged into my account. So im like shit lets read some of my posts and then write another post. It's actually weird being on live journal right now, ohh or wait, I mean LJ  ... lmao

So Life lately has been so difficult My schedule is Sunday- Friday. Saturday is the only day I HAVE NOTHING planned and of course I use it for studying or cleaning my room, or making fun of people :p. I have been in this weird mood where I DONT want to do anything, and im not giving my best like I used to and Im wondering where its coming from. I feel depressed, and I feel like a lot of it had to do with the weather, because today I feel different and I ve been a lot more productive these past couple days. Mondays Im busy from 11am-11pm. Tuesdays 9:30-5 & 8-12. Wednesdays I only have one class, but I have been volunteering for RA interviews and also going to dentist appointments. 13 cavities, enough to buy a big screen TV , my insurance wont even cover all of it. How Lame. Thursdays are just the same as tuesdays, and Fridays I have RAC meeting or BRAVO depending on the friday. Sunday is NRHH, which im really honored to be in, and Soccer. Any free time im usually working out, tanning, studying (yea it comes 3rd), working on loans, my resume, thinking about programs, DJing for dances, starting to read, and trying to keep positive( I think posting in here is actually helping me get my feelings out).

I dont know what it is, but the people around here are very negative lately, I honestly think its the weather but its really getting to me. I understand im an RA and I understand that Im a great listener but honestly. Im over people bringing me their problems. I have enough of my own! I am appreciative of people coming to me because I know Im mature and honest but I cant deal with it (ITS KEEPING ME OFF FOCUS!!!!) Right now the only thing I neede to do in school is focus. Im working on a stronger image, and trying to keep excited on the subjects that Im studying. Not worrying, staying happy. Being more myself. I cant tell you how many people change for certain people, thats not the way it should be and I feel like I've found who im most comfortable with. I am honored to say I can be myself around my original friends from back home still and everything is still cool, obviously I havent changed that much and if I have then they have too. Change is good. I love change and I love new beginnings. Im trying to graduate WMU (WOW GRADUATE WMU, my last posts were about coming to school at WMU) by december and move down to the southwest states of the United States. I really enjoy my job as an RA, designing programs, advertisements, conversing with too many people, laughing about how people act its hilarious. Sometimes I feel like I should be in sociology or something. Although I really still want to do something with Public Relations. I have a  lot ahead of me and wow I have come a long way now that I look back on life.

Well heres something for the live journal.... IM GAY! And im fucking happy being gay

And everyone that I care about, knows Im gay, and they are cool with me being gay too

Im wondering when gay wont even phase people. Love is Love and people are people

We are all the same in that sense, but all have our unique personality and life that goes with it....

Well I love that im actually posting this. Im so cool

Walter John Rutka IV
Western Michigan University
Resident Assistant
National Residence Hall Honorary
Student of Marketing
 

So facebook is the new thing now, Livejournal has been dead for the longest time and I really dont even know who uses it anymore but my friends still have their account and its hilarious.

So all of a sudden it came to me today.....its fall
Fall is the worst time of year for me. Yes i love the weather feels good sometimes, the leaves change, and the best time of halloween is coming up on us. But for the last 4 years this is the month where my mom usually went downhill and next month is the month shes been in the hospital the last 4 years. Its always been said that cooling weather makes people depressed , but i want it to stop, and all im doing is hoping that it wont happen again this year for the first time in my life. For the first time my sister can have a decent birthday without having the thought of her mom on her mind. For all you people leaving for college. This is your last fall with your family and friends. Lets have a good one. Lets make it the best time of our lives.

Ok....If neone has problems with the spring break trip  to New York. You need to tell me so i can tell you the reason why
your not commin with us because ive heard stuff that people are mad about it. TALK TO ME. not behind my back , ok people?
I need to know whats wrong so i can fix it. Theres reasons Whyy people arent going. And the whole cruise/cancun trip WAS
planned before New York. It was too much money for a lot of ppl.
 Thats why i planned it. I dont understand why some people are mad. You can still go to NY
its fine...just not with us. please come talk to me tho....theres no reason holding back